Tuesday, June 17, 2008
the escape artist.
dear dave:
i work hard at maintaining the protective coating that is my defense to an every day reality that grinds on my nerves, so i can keep moving forward even if i'm not really going anywhere. when i went on vacation i discarded the protective coating so i could live normally, enjoy the people i care about, the sights & sounds around me & generally breathe a huge sigh of relief about everything. coming back, i once again donned the protective coating only to discover it's no longer an adequate defense to the every day.
i'm struck w/the survival-necessity of my every day life. it's a gasping realization that everything is far worse than i thought it was before i left for vacation. i don't think things are actually worse, it's just that i have a different perspective having been away from it all for awhile. no matter, the immediate task at hand is to get to work creating a brand new protective coating. something with more protection than previously. it's research & development which is time, energy, hard work & sucking it up. i can't help but think my time & energy would be better spent doing something to propel myself forward instead of defending myself from the present. it's sort of like those people you know who spend so much time & energy opposing things you can't help but think if they'd just stop opposing everything they might actually get somewhere.
wait, what?
i think the fashion industry is bored these days because there's nothing going on but posts about gladiator sandals (i mean more posts about gladiator sandals. i mean in addition to all the previous posts about gladiator sandals since 2005), sex & the city fragrance lines & stylish chillers for your champers.
in fact, i counted 7 references to champers in 1 day. i felt so out of it for never having heard of champers. i pictured myself at an industry party & someone asking me if i wanted some champers & me being like what's champers? & them with the look of disgusted superiority & me being embarrassed for 1 second till it dawned on me that these are the same people who are gushing over gladiator sandals since 2005 so they can bite me.
i think the thing i value most about your friendship is that you have never, ever tried to pump sunshine up my ass with boilerplate phrases & i thank you for that.
xo,
~t
